Friday Nonsense No. 11: A Brief and By No Means Comprehensive List of Gabrielle’s Flaws

(in alphabetical order)

Arrogance

Bad social networker (irrational dislike of Facebook)/ bad self-promoter

Commits to things then immediately regrets committing to things

Devotes time to thinking of people who I’m quite sure rarely think of me

Easily flattered

Envy

Frizz

General snobbishness

Holds grudges

Inability to orally synopsize my books when asked

Imagines insults that may or may not have been intended/given

Impatient

Inconsistent e-mailer

Lacks sufficient gratitude

Looks in mirror more than is necessary

Natural facial expression is, or so I’ve been told, hostile

Nosy

Occasional bouts of excessive self-googling

Occasionally begrudges other’s successes

Occasionally spiteful

Over-thinks everything

Pathological avoidance of telephone calls & candid photographs

Slow suitcase packer

Sharper tongued than I mean to be

Suspicious of newfangled things to a fault

Swears a lot

Tendency to imagine that somewhere, everyone else is having a better time than me

Tendency to imagine the worst case scenario all the time

Tendency to turn small problems into large ones

Very small toenail on my baby toe

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(Last weekend at the Printers Row Book Festival in Chicago, the marvelous Julie Anne Peters asked me what my flaws were. I believe I failed to answer sufficiently.)

(This could just as well be classified under Wednesday Narcissism, of course.)